today.

Dear Friend,

Well, things aren't going as planned today. I woke up, ate my breakfast, and took my meds INCLUDING the new one my doctor prsecribed yesterday. Ugh. I cannot express how much I despise taking medicine. After I had gotten dressed, I remembered my biggest fear about going to school -- lunch. My social anxiety has been pretty bad lately, and lunch is a difficult time for me. So, I called my mother and she came home from the gym. I cried a lot this morning. Mother and I drove to Lake Buhlow and tried to find solutions to the problems I am facing. We decided to get strawberries. Then we drove to school. I cried some more. Then we went home.

The thing that kills me, is that I saw my English class outside when we were driving off from school and I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE! I could have been with my friends, learning new ideas, outside with a great teacher. But no. Not today. My brain chemistry likes to keep me from enjoying life sometimes.

I am an awfully cynical, negitive person, friend. And for that, I apologize. I could blame this on my heredity, lifestyle, chemistry, or ideas on life. Instead, I choose to accept my outlook on life and realize that it is only one out of a million ideas on how to view life. Just because I choose to view life in a more negitive light, doesn't mean that life really is all that bad, or that everyone else has to view life the same way.

Thanks for reading.

Love always,
Sara