Religion.

Dear Friend,

Again, no school today. This is getting quite tiresome - not going to school. So, what have I done today? Not much... Watched Project Runway, computered, and went out to eat for lunch.

Today, I am not only missing school, but also D-NOW. D-NOW stands for Disciple Now, and it is basically a weekend devoted to Christ. I've never been to one before, and I was really looking forward to going... But, of course, my brain hates me.

I live in the Bible Belt of the nation, where Baptists and Pentecostals reign supreme. The separation of church and state is sometimes ignored. I don't really know where I lie in this dilemma of being a zombie and believing everything one hears, or being over analytical and over analyzing EVERY detail.

I don't want to believe something just because someone says it's true. I was told that Santa Claus was real by my parents, and I believed them, and it wasn't true. Now, Christ and salvation is obviously more important than Santa Claus, however the same principle applies -- do I believe in Christ because everyone else is, or just because someone of power says that it's true? Or do I believe in Christ with all of my being because ....

I don't know how to finish that statement. I do believe in Christ. I promise. But I don't know why. I guess I believe in Jesus because I need hope. And Jesus is supposed to be hope.

My morals are similar to those of Christian faith -- Don't lie. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Don't kill others. Etc... What kills me sometimes is when some people will say they are Christians and not act like it.

Now, how is a Christian supposed to act? I could ask 20 different people that question and get 20 different answers. My own personal belief is that Christians are supposed to try everyday to act like Christ, to try to achieve the goal to glorify God, not for selfish reasons such as keeping a good reputation. Also, if one calls themselves a Christian, they are bearing Christ's name. I don't think that bearing Christ's name should be taken lightly. If someone calls them self a Christian and then gossips about others, or kills someone, or does something else that is not Christ like, then they are lowering the reputation of Christians.

Christianity lately has been a sort of casual thing, in my opinion. I became a Christian because I didn't have any more options. I was at the bottom of the barrel, and I needed help that my support team couldn't give me. I guess I needed God.

There is a lot of pressure in the Christian society today to "get saved." While I believe that "getting saved" is a definite life changing experience, pressuring someone into "getting saved" isn't the best way to approach spreading Christianity.

Now, what gives me the right to bash others and their beliefs? Friend, I have no intention to shove my questions and ideas down your throat. If I have done that, I apologize sincerely. Sometimes I feel like these "Christian" beliefs are being shoved down my throat. When this happens, I don't care if I agree with their point or not, I get frustrated. When sharing ideas about faith, the polite thing to do is to listen to what the other person has to say and calmly express your ideas on the matter -- NOT ARGUE! That is why I have almost given up on sharing my ideas with others -- I am not given a chance to explain my reasoning or even talk, at some instances. A good friend of mine said: "I don't have the right to shove my Christian beliefs down your throat, so what gives YOU the right to shove YOUR Non-Christian beliefs down MY throat?!"

My main goal in this venting process is to express my concern for my community, I guess. I fear that many citizens in this small southern town do not think to check for the truth before believing something, whether it be on politics, religion, or the weather. Just because the majority of a nation believes, or claims to believe, in something does NOT mean that it is correct, nor does it mean that YOU have to believe it. Insecurity is great in my home, school, and community. Life is short, and why spend it trying to convince yourself that you believe in something, when in all actuality, you don't. You lie just to fit in.

I hope that this entry hasn't angered you, or offended you in any way. Again, my intentions are NOT to be an arrogant snob, but to be thought provoking and question society and it's morals (or lack of morals).

Thanks for reading.

Love always,

Sara