Give it up, Suck it up, or Grow up!

Dear Friend,

Well, in 3 days I'll be in Wisconsin, and I'm not looking forward to it. At all. I'm really sad, and dissappointed that I'll be halfway across the country for a freakin med change, and help with disordered eating. I would be disappointed in myself, but honestly, it's not like I asked to have this brain. I'm trying not to look as leaving home as a punishment, especially since I'm not a "bad kid" but that's awfully hard to do...
I hate talking about my feelings. I've been doing that since I was 11, and honestly, I'm sick of it. I hope that when I suck it up and talk about how I feel about junk in Wisconsin, that it will pay off, and I'll get better.
When I was hopsitalized the first time, the lady in charge of the adoloscent unit had a great motto, which I have stolen for my own: "Give it up, suck it up, or grow up." I love that phrase, and try to apply it to my life when I don't want to do something, or whatever.
I hope everything works out. I really do. I'm tired of feeling like a failure at life because of my inability to function at the level that society expects me to.
I get frustrated with grades at school, because they don't reflect my intelligence, they reflect how hard it is for me to do schoolwork at home, or my inability to focus, or how often I get sick. Just by looking at my grades, one could come to the conclusion that I'm dumb, when in fact, I just have trouble functioning. For Central Louisiana, I'm pretty smart, if I do say so myself. You just couldn't tell by looking at my grades. And that depresses me.
Anyways, I'll fill you guys in on how Wisconsin was when I return. Hope everyone's summer is bearable.
Thanks for reading.

Love always,
Sara

my feet smell nice.

Dear Friend,

It's been 3 months since this whole Wisconsin/eating/homebound thing started, and I'm sick of it. I'm still at home, and not better. At all. Actually, things have gotten worse.

I'm all packed and ready to leave for Wisconsin, but the stupid admissions office people won't contact us to tell us when to leave. This whole situation gets me very frustrated.

On a happier note, my friend, Grace, is having her birthday on Tuesday. We're going to have a paint war, a picnic, and go to a thrift store. That is, if I'm still here. I wrote her a poem for her birthday, and would like to post it. So, here it goes:

GRACE
It is on this day honoring your birth
that we throw paint at each other in mirth.
You're a great friend, I hope you know
that how cool you are is something I cannot show,
Just like I can't right a sonnet, you see,
or swim across the Mediterainian Sea,
or survive being stung by a swarm of bees,
or for the rest of my life, just eat peas.
I can't express how neato you are
just like I can't drive a car.
Because, believe me, I've tried
and when I'm on the road, everyone should hide.
Instead of the bus,Trey should give us a ride
as long as he drives on the road, and not on the side
because then we would all die in a horrible crash.
The car would go smash,
my head would go bash,
and funerals cost lots of cash.
If you think that it is easy for me to distract
myself , well that is a fact.
I guess that's all I wanted to say -
just to have a happy birthday,
and Grace Merle Price
YOUR FEET SMELL NICE!

thanks for reading.
Love always,
Sara