Give it up, Suck it up, or Grow up!

Dear Friend,

Well, in 3 days I'll be in Wisconsin, and I'm not looking forward to it. At all. I'm really sad, and dissappointed that I'll be halfway across the country for a freakin med change, and help with disordered eating. I would be disappointed in myself, but honestly, it's not like I asked to have this brain. I'm trying not to look as leaving home as a punishment, especially since I'm not a "bad kid" but that's awfully hard to do...
I hate talking about my feelings. I've been doing that since I was 11, and honestly, I'm sick of it. I hope that when I suck it up and talk about how I feel about junk in Wisconsin, that it will pay off, and I'll get better.
When I was hopsitalized the first time, the lady in charge of the adoloscent unit had a great motto, which I have stolen for my own: "Give it up, suck it up, or grow up." I love that phrase, and try to apply it to my life when I don't want to do something, or whatever.
I hope everything works out. I really do. I'm tired of feeling like a failure at life because of my inability to function at the level that society expects me to.
I get frustrated with grades at school, because they don't reflect my intelligence, they reflect how hard it is for me to do schoolwork at home, or my inability to focus, or how often I get sick. Just by looking at my grades, one could come to the conclusion that I'm dumb, when in fact, I just have trouble functioning. For Central Louisiana, I'm pretty smart, if I do say so myself. You just couldn't tell by looking at my grades. And that depresses me.
Anyways, I'll fill you guys in on how Wisconsin was when I return. Hope everyone's summer is bearable.
Thanks for reading.

Love always,
Sara